Shell Gas Station

Look, I know this might not be what you’d expect from a Fort Collins-based coffee review blog, but on this blog, I want to be honest, and if we’re being honest, sometimes you get desperate for a caffeine fix, and the only thing available is the gas station across the street.

This particular Shell gas station has saved me from falling asleep in class many times, but this time I wanted to return with a critical eye and analyze how good their black coffee actually was.

I was somewhat disappointed as I approached the counter and saw that the only brews available were the “Columbian” and a “Decaf,” with 8 or so other empty heaters where other flavors were usually kept (I had seen a blueberry muffin flavor last year that made me equal parts fearful and curious). However, I know a little bit about Columbian coffee, and paid my $1.40 or so expecting a medium roast with maybe a little sweetness or nuttiness to it.

The first sip wasn’t bad enough to spit it out, but as I swallowed, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of sadness.

Its mouthfeel was the first thing I noticed–it was thin and watery, but slipped down my throat in an almost oily fashion. Up front, there was barely any flavor to speak of, and only with the aftertaste was a bitter linger revealed. I’m no stranger to bitter drinks, and I like a fair few of them, but this was decidedly the bad kind of bitter–like someone had accidentally sprinkled charcoal into the filter before it was brewed earlier that morning.

While I was there I had also grabbed an “International Delight Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup” Creamer out of curiosity, but not even that was enough to redeem this cup of coffee. A friend described the taste post-creamer as if “someone left a single Reese’s Cup in a glass of milk for a day.”

The one positive thing I’ll say about this cup of coffee is that it had me shaking with energy half an hour after I finished it–and I do hate to say it, but the next time I need quick caffeine here at school, Shell will probably be where I begrudgingly buy it.